Chairwoman of the Ministry of Vegetables
Moms are super dumb. Or so most 3-year-olds would say, specifically at dinnertime.
I've been blessed with three amazing eaters (the boys), and ever-so-slightly befuddled by one picky eater (my daughter). "Cut the grape tomato with a plastic knife," the online feeding therapist chirped over Google Hangouts. She instructed me to tell my daughter, "put the tomato close to your mouth. Is it cold or warm, smooth or lumpy, wet or dry? What does it smell like? Scrape your teeth against the tomato to get the tiniest amount of juice. Take the world's smallest bite..."
"Please, please, just eat it... and Jesus take the wheel," is more like what I said. Forcing another person to do virtually anything is generally indicative of malice. Unless mom is forcing you to eat your veggies.
"Tomatoes are dumb, mom."
"Right," said the headmistress of the Rojas Vegetable Ministry.
Most of the moms I know would agree that roughly half of a child's personality and preferences are born, not bred. So, my daughter's love of pasta and chocolate (and not much else) might just not be my fault. But, given that I had a dream last night about Whole Foods aisles stuffed with millions of different salted spices, I'm not sure why my culinary adventurousness didn't rub off on this one, especially since it most indeed did rub off on the other three. (Brandi Glanville also made an appearance in this odd dream; Bravo TV fans will chortle.)
This is why I love VoxBoxes. That, and they're free.
They say if a pregnant mom consumes a flavor with enough frequency during gestation, be it tomatoes or hot sauce, the child is more likely to enjoy that flavor in life. Jalapeno Mom/Chairwoman of the Ministry asks you to witness Rafael, my teeny little eater of all things, at Dinosaur Bar-B-Que in Stamford, wolfing down a complex and spicy taco. Be still, my beating heart. And pass the hot sauce.
Rafael at Stamford's Dinosaur BBQ, engulfing a sophisticated taco.
So, it's no wonder that when my last two Influenster VoxBoxes showed up with tasty snacks, my boys had a field day, and none of them questioned my intelligence.
And then, once they discovered more snacks therein, "I want one more" and "don't eat them all" were to be the subtitles:
And for the following Influenster VoxBox:
And for moments where desert (or bribing) is in order, the Duncan Hines "Perfect for Size 1" mini cakes/brownies/muffins take the hassle out of baking treats for kids. Because the Chairwoman of the Ministry of Vegetables needs to chill, and just roll with it on occasion, and sometimes a surprising new choice helps that happen. This is why I love VoxBoxes.
That, and they're free.
Influenster asks box recipients to splash a few hashtags here and there, which is a bit awkward (#CrazyForCrispyGreens 🙄). But, it's like somebody out there needs me, because they want to market to me. Is it odd that that totally makes my day?
Duncan Hines may not make an individual portion caramel cake that is as out-of-this world as my own Valentine's Day caramel cake, below, but mine certainly does NOT take 90 seconds to make. And that's nothing to sneeze at on a busy day.
Xx, Mom in Mascara